Before turning to the topic on everyone’s mind, the tweet that’s burning up the airwaves, the next person Donald Trump should fire is the misbegotten soul who failed to install portable air conditioners aimed at the president during his Saturday rally in Ohio. Trump said it was around 110 degrees in the smallish gym where he spoke and the heat ruined his new suit. The makeup artist who slathered meltable pancake on the president’s face, also, must go. Dislike Trump all you want, but he’s still president and should appear looking presidential, no matter how he acts, or what he says.
The Hollywood Walk of Fame draws visitors from around the world to stride atop stars emblazoned with the names of celebrities, old and new, big and small. Tourists can pay an imaginative entrepreneur toting a box of gold metal letters that can be laid over a faux star with their own names that’s photographed as a memorial of their pilgrimage to the irresistible tackiness of Hollywood Boulevard where, if lucky, Al Pacino can be glimpsed ducking out of Musso-Frank Grill. Among the stars on the baked L.A. street is Donald Trump’s.
Endangered species, who needs them? They’re lots of other animals. Threatened species are not endangered, yet, so what’s the fuss there? Both impede progress. Climate change, on the off chance it’s real, won’t wipe out entire populations on earth while we’re still alive, so don’t fret when carbon caps get lifted. The banks made honest mistakes in the past, which they’re unlikely to repeat, so everybody’s money is safe again, and deregulation is good there, too. The sick, about time, can stand on their own two feet instead of lounging about in government paid wheelchairs, obviating the need for universal health care. And, hats off to the generous Iowa hog and soybean farmers who are supporting the economy by going bankrupt. Best news of all, however, the Russians mean us no harm.
Donald Trump thinks we’re all fools, based on his embrace of a long-standing enemy, Russia. Ignore all the people who were shot trying to climb the Berlin wall that Ronald Reagan demanded Russian leader Mikhail Gorbachev tear down. Forget the Hungarians who were mowed down when that country sought to throw off the yoke of the USSR. What better way to besmirch the memory of all the U.S. men and women who died in Vietnam, killed by Russian arms, than to embrace Russia? The list goes on and on, throughout the post-war era, consisting of continuous Russian affronts to decency and human rights.
Donald Trump, fresh from threatening to blow up NATO for a couple of bucks in Brussels, landed in London and jumped straightaway into British politics when he endorsed the resigned, rouge, foreign secretary, Boris Johnson, for the position of P.M. Trump didn’t stop there, though, and told the Brits that if they don’t see things his way, hereafter, we won’t trade with them, anymore, as we have in the past. The blame for this, Trump said, should Britain fail to amend its course, will fall to the current P.M., Theresa May. It’ll be a harsh penalty for May’s neglecting to follow the undisclosed advice Trump says he gave her about BREXIT, the divorce of Britain from Europe that Russia, allegedly, nudged along.
Oyez, Oyez! Donald Trump should appoint himself to the Supreme Court, which would confer significant advantages on him, the nation, and a judiciary already burdened with cases that pertain to the president, in official and private capacities. The only requirement to be a supreme court justice is senate confirmation and Mike Pence, surely, would cast any tiebreaker in Trump’s favor because it’d make Pence president, however briefly.
“We declared clearly that the Russian government did not meddle in U.S. processes, does not meddle and moreover did not meddle in the 2016 elections,” according to Putin aide, Yuri Ushakov, as reported by the New York Times.
It’s reassuring that Russia can still be trusted, though there’s a worry about the triple negative Ushakov uses in his general denial. Math aside, the president, allegedly, will straighten it all out when he meets in summit with Vladimir Putin next month, at which time superlatives will be expressed and best smiles flashed. The event, however, could do some good if it’s a substantive meet and not a P.R. stunt.
The best reason to enact gun control in the United States is to keep the administration from shooting itself in the foot. Its lemming-like rush to obliterate gains is stunning in scope and breathtaking to behold. Just as the president’s poll numbers were rising; fever for investigations falling; personal scandals receding; a somewhat contrived diplomatic coup achieved; and oblivion continuing to shrouding Republican cowardice, the administration decided that strict compliance with U.S. immigration laws required internment of children brought to the border by asylum seekers and illegal immigrants. If that wasn’t enough, new directives removed spousal abuse and gang violence as just causes for asylum.
James Comey, former FBI director, was considered to be contradiction, a riddle wrapped in an enigma. Now he’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma inside a Rubik’s cube. The Justice Department’s inspector general, Michael Horowitz, today, called Comey insubordinate and called his judgment into question. There’s a lot of questionable judgment running around Washington these days, including forcible segregation of immigrant children from their parents at the border, fetes for a ruthless dictator famed for killing members of his own family, and alleged official self-enrichment that would make King Midas blush.
Thanks to the summitry of president Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un, in a Sheldon Adelson casino in Singapore, Hollywood is safe from imminent nuclear attack. Kim’s hostile designs on Tinseltown, and Sony Pictures, in particular, originated in a Seth Rogen and James Franco 2014 farce, The Interview, which tells the improbable story of two lame characters recruited by the CIA to assassinate Kim, which they succeed in doing with a rocket, thereby, giving additional meaning to Trump’s frequent insult of “Rocket Man.”