By: Mike Malak

As one of his first acts, Joe Biden should preemptively pardon Donald Trump from a cornucopia of offenses about which we are obligated to presume his innocence unless,and until it is adjudicated to be otherwise. 

His niece, Mary, blames the president's father Fred, the Machievelli of public housing in Queens, for the leaky conscience that gave Trump permission to cage children at the border, cavort with dictators, and try to execute as many people as he can before the last of his Diet Cokes is carted away from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.